Balance -- You Know, That Pretzel Thing

Whether you chose to work or you have to work, there are pros and cons to being a working mother. For me there are many pros. My sense of self. My sense of accomplishment. My source of intellectual stimulation (editorial note: not that you don't get that from other sources -- in fact, I've never been so intellectually challenged as I was during Lily's "why" phase...the quest to come up with answers to twelve. million. questions. was quite the workout for my brain!). Heck, my paycheck is pretty darn nice too. Especially in this economy.

But there are cons as well. Lots of them. I'm tired. All the time. I often do my grocery shopping at 11 p.m., and there's never enough time for anything. For my kids. For my friends. For Noah. For me.

Balance, as one of my favorite "professional" bloggers -- Lisa Belkin from the New York Times' Motherlode blog -- points out, is a misnomer. A joke. A contorted yoga pretzel that others seemingly can do but you can't.



Personally I don't think that there is a perfect answer or a perfect scenario. What do you think?

Black Eyed Blue

This weekend I snuck away for a much needed and LLOONNNNGGGG overdue 21 hour girls getaway with my friend Jamie (All About Abby and Beth). You know, the one who never updates her blog. The one who has yet to convince me that she really has 5 1/2 month old twin girls because I NEVER EV-AH get new photos. Yes, that's the one (here's hoping that a little public humiliation will do the trick!).

While we were off shopping, and spa-ing, in Hershey, PA, my soon-to-be 14 month old took it upon herself to introduce her eye to the corner of the coffee table. Guess who won??

"Oh, Mama, now you'll never leave my side again!" -- Anna

"Even with a black eye, I still look good in pink pearls..."

"And I'm still oh-so yummy!"

"Mmmmaaaaammmmmaaaaa, how could you have left me??"

"Ha, ha! That'll teach you!!"

Here's hoping that bad things do, in fact, only come in threes. You may recall #1 (click HERE) and #2 (click HERE). Fear not, the eye looked MUCH worse by the time she went to bed tonight. Poor Anna. And Poor Noah. I'm not sure who was hurt more by this bonk.

Please Pardon our Dust

Although I promised to post at least once a week when I started this blog -- and for the most part I've done at least that (lesson to my children: set the bar low and it'll be easy to reach....eek!) -- my goal was to post more than that. Much more than that. Those of you, my friends, who have blogs of your own, you know that I appreciate frequent posts from you. Or I nag. And nag. And nag some more.

So it's a tad bit disconcerting that I've been posting as infrequently as I have of late.

Part of that is work. It's, well, work.

Part of that is Facebook. Uugh, what a time suck that site has become!

Part of that is life. And our normally crazy life just got crazier. 2 weeks ago Noah and I signed a contract to (1) tear down our house (2) build a much nicer and BIGGGGER house in its place and (3) be forever in debt. Lots of debt. I think we might owe the contractor a third born; my eyes crossed at that point in the contract though.

So, please pardon the dust on this blog. I hope to keep it to a minimum... And once the real work on the house begins, I'll definitely track the progress through this site. After all, it's a "baby book" for my girls. And since the house will be our new baby, I suppose that it deserves an equal amount of print. At least while it's being built. Which, come to think of it, should take just about as long as normal pregnancy. Here's hoping for "preterm labor" again!!

To distract you for now, though, I bring you the girls. In their own words. Because who can resist a little sugar and spice?!?

Madame Hair Envy --



Madame Pipsqueak --

Next Generation Art

Lily's school recently had an art exhibit. Expecting the worst (I mean -- lovely preschool art pieces), I was actually quite surprised by the results that adorned just about every wall in the school.

Lily's art has been trickling home over the past week or two. We now have a wall in our kitchen -- Harrison Street Gallery -- where we're displaying her work. Hours vary by day; please call in advance to make sure the artist is present.

A fancy butterfly

A rainbow study

Arlington does Aboriginal

Vincent Van Gogh landscape collage

A flower garden, shape study

Sky High

Last weekend we went to the (94th?) annual McLean Day, an amazingly wonderful and completely free carnival in the "town" next to ours. We've gone every year for the past four. Last year's was perhaps the most memorable. I'll never forget walking around NURSING Anna, covered under my Hooter Hider, while trying to keep up with Lily.

This year our cousins joined us for the fun. Anna had her first taste of lemonade. Again, something that Lily sampled for the first time MUCH later in life. Lily rode in a "ferris wheel" with cousin Camilla, the smallest one I've ever seen. Ever.

McLean Day 2006

Click HERE for photos from McLean Day 2008. Photos that, btw, only exist on blogger/Picasa because they were lost when the hard drive failed last year. And lest you forget that drama, feel free to click HERE or HERE!

Anna @ McLean Day 2009 -- where both girls got their first pony ride
(at least I've since learned how to keep shoes in my kid)

World's smallest ferris wheel. No exaggeration.

And, yes. If you were looking closely at the photos and noticed similarities between the girls outfits, they are, in fact, wearing the same thing. Matching is Lily's latest obsession.

Parental Pain

At work we subscribe to a service whereby reporters can post their queries and we, in theory, can offer up our clients, where appropriate, as experts. Of course, in my world "clients" is a loose term. I've offered up friends, friends of friends, and family to reporters in the past. Most recently my friend Ellen (The Galka Family) was interviewed by Time about VBACs and my friend Jamie (All About Abby and Beth) was interviewed by Parade about free/funny holiday traditions.

Today I saw a posting by an MSNBC reporter, asking if/how children have been hard on their parents health. Physical health. But it got me thinking. About emotional health.

HEALTH: How Tots Can Be Hard on Their Parents' Health -- MSNBC.com

I'm a reporter working on a parenting article about injuries and other aches and pains that parents sustain at the hands of babies and toddlers -- things like black eyes, broken noses (from head butts), back and neck strain (from lifting kids), eye pokes (corneal abrasions), sprains (e.g., from tripping over toys), etc. I'm trying to find any statistics in this area. I'm also interested in speaking with experts who can comment specifically on this subject. I'm a freelancer. Contact: Jxxxx Sxxxx, xxxx_xxxx@yahoo.com.

So what about the emotional impact that our children have on us? I have never felt so vulnerable as I have since I birthed my first baby. Strange thoughts hijacked my dreams mid-way through my pregnancy with Lily. And they've just gotten progressively worse since the girls were born.

On my first neighborhood walk, pushing then-infant Lily in the stroller, I was overcome by irrational fears that someone was going to rush me, club me, and run away with my baby.

When Lily first started sleeping through the night, I sometimes found myself waking up in a cold sweat, frantically searching for the baby. I'd dreamt that she was in the bed and I'd rolled on top of her an smuggled her to death. Or that she'd been with me, rolled off the bed, and eaten by some carnivore that lived amongst the dust bunnies under my dresser.

With Anna, I've had moments of panic waft through me when I suddenly couldn't hear her playing in the adjacent room, immediately convinced that she'd been silently snatched through an open window.

Totally random. Completely bizarre. Amazingly irrational. And, thankfully, figments of my imagination. From what I understand, these thoughts are also very normal. Apparently I'm not the only mother out there who is griped with fear -- random, bizarre and irrational fear -- from time to time. And let me reassure that that I'm only haunted by these thoughts time to time. Thankfully.

But Noah and I have been lucky. Very, very lucky. Sure our girls have asthma, which means far more trips to the pediatrician's office during cold/flu season...and many an hour spent hooked up to a noisy nebulizer machine. Sure the girls have had their fair share of bumps and bruises, cuts and scrapes. Overall, though, they're healthy. And safe. And blossoming.

Not all children are as lucky. The mommyblogging community was recently stricken, twice, by two deaths. A four month old little boy who was fine one minute and not the next; his death was labeled SIDS. And a 17 month old little girl who battled chronic lung issues that served as a permanent reminder of her premature birth. She went from OK to dead in a matter of hours; she died five weeks ago.

I've been following both of the moms, on twitter and through their blogs. Their writing is profound, although their pain is almost too much to bear. When Noah's uncle died 2 weeks ago at the young age of 48, I had a hard time rationalizing how such a young person could die. But for a baby to die... For a parent to have to bury a child... There's just something that's cruel and completely unjust about that.

Meet Heather from TheSophrsAreMultplying and Shana from Gorillabuns, "partners in suck" as they've labeled themselves. I've added their blogs to my "blogging by the pros" list on the right.

As I follow their journeys out of hell -- the hell of losing a baby -- I try to remind myself to be just a little more patient, and loving, with my own two healthy (knock on some serious wood) and completely precious girls.

Everything's Coming Up Roses

There's more in bloom than the flowers in the garden. I'm amazed -- just amazed -- by how quickly the girls are growing.

Anna is fully walking. Talking (and when she lacks the word still still clearly gets her point across...the child is the master of the "point. grunt. scream!"). Biting; I've become her personal teething toy. And getting in. to. everything.




Lily is officially 4 1/2. Going on 21. It's all Noah and I can do to keep up with her. I fear that she's going to outpace us -- physically and intellectually -- in another 6 months.

Daddy Duty

I've said it before, but I think the person most impacted by the increase in our family size from three to four was Noah. Partially it had to do with Lily's change of school -- which also translated to a change in chauffeur (from me when she was downtown to Noah now that she's in Arlington). But partially it had to do with the fact that my hands were full with newborn Anna. If she wasn't attached to me nursing, we were both passed out from exhaustion.

Noah, who had always been an involved parent, became...for a time at least...THE involved parent. I was too tired to feel guilty, so I took full advantage of their extra bonding time.

And while we've settled back in to a more equal holding pattern, especially now that Anna isn't so completely attached to me, Noah and Lily spend tons of time together. Oedipus would have a field day with this one!

I try not to ask too many questions. Were teeth brushed tonight? Did a bath play any part in the bedtime routine? Was there a stop at the bakery on the ONE mile commute home?

I have a feeling that I don't want to know the answers. Now that Noah has an iPhone though (with its handy camera), I'm now finding evidence uploaded to iPhoto...

at least toothpaste does seem to be involved...

posing after dance class...yes, Super Dad even suffers through ballet...

like I said, there's photographic evidence (not sure which one is bigger -- Lily or the cookie!).

Spring Fling

Twice a year, the 80 children at Lily's school serenade the parents at a concert, which they likely spend months preparing for.

Thankfully I was warned in advance of the Winter Holiday Concert. Get there early. E.A.R.L.Y. Stake out your seats. Up front. Beware of pushy parents who will resort to just about anything to get the "perfect" shot of their kid. Like practically sit in your lap.

We got great seats at the last concert, and because "competitive" is my middle name, we got equally fantastic seats at the Spring Fling Mother's Day Concert.

Nearly 200 parents crammed in to the multipurpose room at the school, perching on tiny wooden seats for the performance. This one started out with some of the kids in the Suzuki Violin program performing on doll-sized violins; I honestly have never seen real musical instruments that tiny before. Thankfully for all of us, tiny violins produce tiny squeaks. Thankfully.

As for the concert, it was ridiculously cute. But with 80 kids singing, the squeaks weren't so tiny!

"Fifty Nifty"

"Summertime"

"Simple Gifts"

"Little Peter Rabbit"

And just so that everything is out in the open -- yes, I am one of those nutty multimedia mothers who follows her children around with cameras. Of all varieties. Although I am just sharing the highlights with you. Because I like you too much to subject you to it all.

And see the tiny blonde boy in those shots? Front row? Linen pants and shirt cooler than anything I've got in my closet? That's Colin. And Lily thinks that "he's cute. CRAZY cute!"

The Birthday Retrospective

Life seems to have gotten in the way of blog progress lately, but for the sake of posterity (remember, this site is essentially a living and breathing baby book for my kids) I've got to at least post photos from Anna's first birthday party.

Although completely unoriginal -- I duplicated Lily's first birthday down to the local kiddie entertainer Oh Susannah -- I was determined that Anna would have a festive party to close out her first year of life.

And while there may have been more children in Lily's age bracket than in Anna's, festive it was.

The music and balloon animals were a big hit with the preschoolers. The cake (homemade, sort of from scratch. sort of.) wasn't such a big hit with the birthday girl. Not a big fan of sweets, although I'm certain she'll soon follow in her sister's and mother's footsteps and outgrow that disdain. The Hello Cupcakes minis that I got for the rest of us were talked about for days.

I still can't believe that my baby is one...