BACK UP!

While we were hoping...desperately hoping...that Drivecrash.com would be the answer to our iMac nightmares, our hard drive's mechanical failure is more complicated than we had ever imagined.

And more expensive.

The $350 -- $1800 that we were originally quoted (a safe range for probably 95% of the hard drive failures that they see) has been blown out the window. After quickly looking at our drive, the estimate was upwardly revised to between $1200 and $2900. They won't know for sure until they get it in to the lab. There is, of course, a $500 lab fee. And there is no guarantee they'll be able to recover our data. (excuse me while I get sick)

I'm not sure what Noah has decided, although I suspect we'll be taking the "second opinion" path before making a real decision.

Of course, Mac won't give us a new hard drive until we relinquish the old one. Which I won't, of course, until we recover our precious photos, music and documents.

I will never, EVER, buy another Mac again. No new iPod. No iPhone is in my future. No more iTunes gift cards will be given by me.

While I'm sure that many have been using Macs for years, without problems, ours has been a source of headaches. Nothing with this computer has been simple, and if I ever have to deal with another "genius," well, I'll ask for Mensa documentation first.

Sorry, Mr. Jobs, but there are many reasons why I hate your machines. Here are but a few.

1. While you advertise one click operations, blogging from a Mac nearly requires a computer science degree. I've actually had to use the HTML coding that I learned while taking a website class back in 2001. Blogging from a PC is sssoooooo much easier. Even my Mac-enthusiast friends will agree.
2. Corporate America doesn't exactly support Macs. Because we've had a Mac at home, I've not been able to log on to my office's network. This has meant more than a handful of late-night Sunday "office dash" trips to enter my time before the midnight Sunday deadlines. If I had a PC at home, I could have done it while getting my weekly fix of In Plain Sight (awesome show, btw).
3. After some 20 years of PC ownership (I can even remember back to my Atari computer!), I HAVE NEVER HAD A HARD DRIVE FAIL BEFORE. Enough said.
4. Mac employees are, for the most part, snobs. Do they really think that they're so much better, and more cool, that the rest of us? They have the worst return policies in the galaxy, awful warranty policies, and the folks behind the genius bar are anything but.
5. Don't even get me started on Apple Care. You cannot make appointments over the phone; they only accept them online. Which would probably be OK if your computer actually worked....and, of course, if your computer worked YOU WOULDN'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT!

Perhaps I can somehow convince Barack Obama -- who, by the way, is so going to be elected in November....or I'm moving my entire family to Canada -- to include a "Consumers Who Have Been Wronged by Mac Bill of Rights" on to his official platform.

Until then, please use my hardship for your own gain. PLEASE go home and back up your computer hard drive(s). Back up early. Back up often!

Off the Charts

Anna had her 4 month appointment yesterday, which was much less feared (by me) than her 2 month appointment; this time Noah was the one who had the "pleasure" of taking her.

As I expected -- based on the fact that at 4 1/2 months she's nearly outgrown her 3-6 month clothing -- Anna is nearly off the charts for both height (97th percentile) and weight (also 97th percentile). Our beloved pediatrician couldn't have been more pleased and said that Anna looked awesome (full disclosure, she's also the mama of big, juicy babies!).

4.10.08 -- Anna was born weighing in at a smallish but respectable 6 pounds 15 ounces

4.26.08 -- Our buddha baby now weighs (in a diaper, to be fair) a WHOPPING 17 pounds 1 ounce!

It's 5:00 somewhere, right?

Perhaps there's a full moon on the horizon. Perhaps my exhaustion is just catching up with me. But when I realized, half way to the Huck last night that I'd forgotten THE CUPCAKES at my office, I should have known that I was in for a spell of bad luck.

So for all you moms out there who have periods when you feel like nothing can go right and you just want to hide under the covers....well, you're not alone.

Perhaps you'll feel better about your own situations when you read about the last 16 hours of my life.

Yes, I did forget the cupcakes in my mini-fridge at work. I realized about half way to the Huck when my hands felt strangely empty. For a nano-second I debated just leaving them, but the thought quickly passed and I ran (yes, ran...in heels) back to the office.

Upon arriving at the Huck, I handed over Lily's snack of pretzel goldfish (which, if you're 3 3/4, you think that these are far superior to their orange cousins). While trying to take the top off of the tupperware container, she dropped them, they all went flying and ended up on the floor. Major crying ensued. I almost let her eat them off the floor. Almost, but not quite.

We made it home, in one piece, only to discover the world's largest moving van in our cul-de-sac. Even though we knew this was on the horizon, it took us all by surprise that our favorite neighbors were leaving today. Jamie -- you'd better take care of them up in NJ!!

As soon as we got in to the house, and I had a second to thumb through the mail, Anna started making a weird noise. No sooner did I look at her, held in my arms, than she started throwing up. Regurgitated milk started coming out of her mouth and nose. And she started turning purple. Milk was coming from everywhere and going everywhere...there was a trail of it from the pile of mail in the dining room to the kitchen sink. And, of course, our housekeeper had been there that day so the floors had been sparkling clean.

Then, when taking Lily's dress off to get her ready for her shower, we discovered no less than 2 dozen red dots on her back and legs. While rationally I knew that they had to be mosquito bites, I panicked for a second and thought they were chicken pox. I raced to the computer to Google something....anything....only to discover an empty desk. Right, we have no computer right now; how could I forget. Upon booting my work laptop up, I discovered that there's some new firewall that's been installed and I can't get it to connect with our wireless internet. Uugh!

I got Anna to sleep and immediately had to race out to Babies R Us to buy a new bulb aspirator. Poor baby. She's probably going to start having nightmares about things being jammed up her nose and junk sucked out. But with her not sleeping well because of congestion, I needed to have a few extra on hand. I got to Babies R Us approximately 3 minutes before the store closed. After cooking a delicious salmon dinner, Noah had to cancel his Monday night workout so that he could handle Lily (shower, book, bed, etc...never as simple as it sounds) while I ran my errand; how do single parents do it?

Thanks to the above mentioned congestion, Anna woke up at 4:45 a.m. today because she couldn't breathe. Somehow in the midst of pre-dawn nose sucking and subsequent early morning snack (for her), we both fell asleep in my bed and didn't wake up until NOAH'S alarm clock when off at 7 a.m. Damn! I must have turned the alarm off in my sleep. Maybe Anna did. But I was off to the races the second my eyes opened; the day had just begun and already I was 30 minutes behind schedule. What an awful way to start the day. And it's only Tuesday!

Thanks to a handy protein bar, Lily's favorite breakfast selection (one that we probably shouldn't allow her to eat, but when you need your child to eat on the go.....well, today she was allowed one), we were actually in the car on time.

I backed out of the driveway, for the first time, and realized that I'd forgotten my pony tail holder. Considering my hair is 4 weeks overdue for a cut and color (a whole other story), said pony tail holder is critical. Raced back in to the house, grabbed the holder, and got back in the car.

As I was backing out of the driveway, for the second time, I realized that I had forgotten the bulb aspirator....the one that I had bought last night...the whole reason why I made the late night Babies R Us run. Damn, damn! I raced back in to the house, grabbed it and got back in the car.

OK, so now I was breathing a small sigh of relief. We were in the car. No one was crying. There was no traffic in sight. Bad luck turning around? Ha, not mine!

When I pulled in to the garage at 20th and M streets, I looked over at the passenger seat in my car to discover it empty. ANNA'S BOTTLES. Shit! Where were they? On the kitchen counter, of course. OK, go ahead and laugh...

So, yes, I had finally forgotten the bottles; I knew it would happen at some point. Noah (to the rescue once again) hadn't left the house and agreed to bring them to school...after I promised to stop swearing in front of the kids.

Of course, the icing on the cake is that Anna's 4 month check up is today. Her first appointment with our beloved Dr. Emily Palmer...who just returned from maternity leave herself (and I'm so dying to see her and catch up!). Emily's third child, Ann, is 2 days older than Anna. This appointment has been on the calendar for 2 months. And, at 6 p.m. last night, I got an email telling me that I have to be in an important meeting. A meeting that I cannot miss. It is, of course, at the exact same time as Anna's appointment.

I spent 45 minutes last night typing a note to Dr. Palmer...listing all of Anna's brilliant developmental milestones....and itemizing all of the 12 zillion questions that I have. Noah, as he has taken to do, will likely just hand the note over (they're used to my system of communicating). Emily will likely write all the answers on my note and hand it back.

At least I didn't spill my latte on myself while walking to work.

Here's hoping that the next 16 hours are better than the last. At least I got to eat those cupcakes last night! They're SO good. CRAZY good. If you're local, I'd highly recommend indulging yourself. Just one piece of advice -- get there when they open (10 a.m.) for the best selection...and don't ever walk out the door without your baby's bottles!

You had me at hello

My email in-box has been a source of stress for me lately -- "Congratulations! Lily has been accepted to our preschool class of 2008/2009." (and you have exactly 11 minutes to accept or decline the spot) "Arlington County wishes to remind you that your personal property taxes are due." (of course they are...who else wants money from me?) "Calorie alert -- did you know that Sharon's Sorbet has re-engineered it's flavors and what used to have 80 calories per serving now has 120?" (Uugh!!)

Today, however, I got the most wonderful news when I opened an email from Daily Candy DC -- a new cupcake bakery ("cupcakery") has graced the Nation's Capitol with it's cupcakey-presence. Now you New Yorkers who think that your city can beat up our city...not so fast!

Hello Cupcake!

No sooner had I read the posting and my feet were already walking themselves towards the door. Telling my colleagues that I was going to dash over to pick up a cupcake for Lily, I secretly was going to scope the place for myself. Lily came by her cupcake craze honestly; it's an inherited trait.

Even though the Daily Candy email had just gone out, the line outside of Hello Cupcake was down the street by the time I arrived. I counted 22 people ahead of me in line. 22 people that I could see. That would be 22 other cupcake geeks who were standing in line...outside...in the DC August heat. For a stinking cupcake. There were probably another dozen in line inside the store. And let's not forget the FOX 5 TV crew who was interviewing folks as they walked outside, taking their their first glorious bites of those little mounds of pure bliss.

Surprisingly it only took me 30 minutes to get through the line, start to finish. Then again, when you consider that I bill at $345 a hour, and the cupcakes are $3 each, those were some pretty darn expensive cupcakes!

The selection was pretty bare bones by the time I made it to the counter, but I did manage to get 4 cupcakes that I'm bringing home tonight for a little Monday-eve surprise treat. Lest you think I'm totally selfless, I will admit that I bought a fifth cupcake to nibble on the way back to the office. To make sure they're not poisonous, of course!

The only cupcake I saw listed on the menu that I was dying to try but that they'd run out of was the "de lime and de coconut." I was able to score a 4 pack that looks and smells supremely good --



Top row (l to r) -- Prima Donna (chocolate cake with fresh, pink strawberry buttercream icing) and Triple Coconut (coconut cake, coconut cream cheese frosting, and toasted coconut garnish)

Bottom row (l to r) -- You Tart (sassy lemon cake with lemon cream cheese frosting) and Velvet Elvis (banana cake made with real bananas and rich peanut butter frosting). I got the gluten free version of the You Tart since that was all that was left. One for the box, and one for my mouth. It was sssooooooo yummy! Who knew that gluten free could be so delicious!!


They came in a super cute box, partitioned so that the cupcakes wouldn't bump in to each other (although they did start to melt in the heat). The store is adorable; how can you not love a place with a giant pink sign and a pink crystal chandelier inside?

Already the buzz has started. Popular food blogs around town have posted. From Washingtonian to WhereInDC to DCist, the verdict is in. Two thumbs up. Next time I'll go of my own accord. As Lily promised over the weekend that she'd never lie to us, perhaps I shouldn't lie myself....or to myself. I wish that Hello Cupcakes wasn't so close to my office. This definitely won't be good for my post-partum weight-loss!

Hakunah Matata

It's official. Our hard drive is dead. May it rest in peace.

The Mac store gave us two options -- (1) they put in a new hard drive (still covered under warranty) and we're back in business immediately or (2) we send our hard drive off somewhere, pay to have all the files extracted (hopefully...I'm not even allowing myself to think about the "what if..."), and then bring the computer back for a new hard drive once that's complete.

Considering I have photos of both my kids, from the delivery room through to today, locked inside this blasted machine...well, option 2 really was the only one I could consider.

But it means that it's going to be some time before we're up and running again. We're still without a home computer. I still have no access to all my photos, except those that I'd actually uploaded to shutterfly before the melt-down occurred. And I still haven't made the final determination if I'm going to have a nervous breakdown over this one. I guess it'll depend on what/how much from the drive can't be recovered. Please pray for me!

Since distractions are the name of the game with Lily these days, I'm trying to provide myself with distractions to keep my mind off of the computer "issue." So I'll attempt to take a lesson from Disney's Lion King story; Hakuna Matata, after all, means No Worries!

Last weekend, in the midst of Lily's coxsackievirus drama, we took her to the Kennedy Center to see the Broadway production of The Lion King. Talk about living on the edge and taking chances.

1. She's only 3 (and 3/4) after all, and the show has a running time of almost 3 hours.

2. While the music and costumes are absolutely out of this world, there are also, well, um, very scary parts too.

3. If we had to bail, tickets were $90 each.

4. And, oh right, she was still walking around with her tongue hanging out of her mouth...not eating...in pain...and hopefully not too terribly contagious anymore. She hadn't been out of the house in 3 days, and we almost landed in the hospital for an IV of fluids the night before.

We made it to the show, though, and it was as magical as I had remembered from the tour's stop in Baltimore 3 years ago.

Our seats were amazing!! (Thank you Jessica!)

The cast was UNBELIEVABLE.

The costumes blew my mind.

Lily was totally captivated. So were we all. As much pain as she was in, sitting through the 3 hours of singing and dancing wasn't an issue at all; she probably would have sat for longer if they had kept on going.

I have pictures of Miss Lily from her first major musical performance. They are, of course, now trapped on my camera. With nowhere to go. Uugh, not having our computer is killing me. Can you tell? So enjoy a few pix that were "borrowed" from Google images.

Technical Difficulties

Sadly for me...and, in turn for you...our home iMac computer is in the critical care department at our local Mac store. Not sure what happened to it, but the other night it started making a weird clicking sound and, suddenly, died.

Perhaps it's the thousands of supremely high resolution (read LARGE files) photos that live on the hard drive. Perhaps it's the 3 year old (oh right, 3 3/4 year old) hacker who has taken a strong and sudden interest in the computer (she has found files and applications on the computer that I didn't know existed....while she's supposed to be "playing" on PBS Sprout online). Perhaps we just never fully appreciated all the Mac-ness that the computer has to offer (I'm still, at heart, a PC girl), so it declared us "not worthy" and just shut down.

Who knows, but if the guys behind the Genius Bar aren't genius enough to fix it, I will be in the one who will need to be put on life support.... Oh, the thought of losing all my precious photos makes me break out in hives!!

So, unable to access my recent photos of the girls -- the illustrations for my blog narrations -- I find myself in blogger purgatory. Awful limbo. I mean, what's a girl to do when she can't hop online and blog at night??? I'm in withdrawal and need a fix!

A few hours before the electronic meltdown, I happened to upload a few photos to shutterfly. So, thanks to the world wide web, and an email I just got from my cousin, I bring you some snapshots of the four cutest girls in all of Arlington...a little something to tide you over.

Lily and Anna -- on horseback -- I'm probably the only mother alive who would put a 4 month old on top of a horse (perhaps the reason for her very concerned expression). All in the name of photography!

Camilla and Caroline -- could they be any cuter?

Kill Me Now!

Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water...

Can you guess what I discovered when I logged in to my email account this morning? Yes, a few messages telling me that I'd won some lottery in Tanzania...and if I'd just send my social security number, blood type and first born, they'd immediately issue a "bank cheque" for a zillion dollars. DELETE.

Between messages about lottery wind-falls and "last call sales," this one caught my eye --

SUBJECT: Welcome to our 16th Street J Preschool Family!

BODY: Hello Courtney and Noah,

It is my pleasure to offer Lily a spot in the 16th Street J Preschool for the 2008–2009 school year.

I will be mailing you a packet with full information on our registration process and the forms that we’ll need you to fill out. Please look for the envelope in the mail in the coming week. It should answer many of the questions that I know you may have....

QUESTIONS!?! Yes, I have a few. Like who up there has it in for me? Why am I being driven to the edge? Why now? Why me?

As if the whole School for Friends drama didn't age me enough, now Lily has been offered a coveted spot at the DC JCC's preschool. Luckily I was spared any additional hair pulling this morning because of the whole contract/school year tuition clause discovery we made last week. I did have a brief moment when my stomach went up in to my throat -- just like it does when you head over the peak of a hill on a roller coaster -- but I quickly shot down that roller coaster of emotions and wrote back, declining the spot (very politely and diplomatically, as I did with School for Friends, b/c lord only knows where we'll want to send Anna in 2 years! I need to be friends with all these preschool admissions folks!!).

And then I went and made myself a cup of Irish Creme-flavored coffee in my office kitchen. Even though it wasn't the real thing, I needed to at least feel like I was having a drink.

Wicked Tired

Now that I'm a working mother of two, I have gotten a sense of just how tightly scheduled my life is going to be. Probably for the next 18 years.

6:30 a.m. -- Alarm clock goes off; hop in shower; enjoy two seconds of peace and quiet...even if I'm too tired to really appreciate it

7:00 a.m. -- Wake up Noah (he then wakes up Lily and spearheads her until we walk out the door); get dressed/do hair/apply bare minimum make-up so that I actually look like a human being

7:30 a.m. -- Wake up Anna; nurse; diaper her/dress her; BEG Lily to eat just a little bit faster

7:50 a.m. -- PLEAD with Lily to take just one more bite of breakfast; wrangle her to the floor so that I can do her hair

8:00 a.m. -- Walk out the door (1st time); Noah gets kids in car (while standing in his underwear in our driveway); go back inside when I realize I've forgotten Anna's bottles; race out the door (2nd time)

8 - 9 a.m. -- Drive downtown; point out every ridiculously bad driver to my daughter, who now hollers at them on her own (I can just see her now, in 12 more years, flipping off strangers with her newly minted license in her hot little hand); get two kids settled in two different classrooms; kiss and re-kiss them both a zillion times

9:00 a.m. -- Race to my office, 4 1/2 blocks away; enter through the loading dock b/c it saves me from walking 1 extra block

9 -- 5:00 p.m. (if I'm lucky it's 5) -- Work, pump, work, pump, eat a late lunch, pee 12 million times because I am drinking so much water in an attempt to keep my milk supply good

5 -- 5:45 p.m. -- Walk over to the Huck; get two kids out of two classrooms; BEG Lily to go to the bathroom before we leave; negotiate with her re: which toilet might be worthy of her pee; pack up and head to the garage; head back up to the Huck when I realize that I've forgotten Anna's bottles

6 -- 9:00 p.m. -- drive home; make dinner; eat dinner; bathe Anna/dress Anna in PJs/nurse Anna/put her to bed while Noah steers Lily into her bedtime routine; clean up the kitchen while Noah reads to Lily; kiss Lily goodnight and give in, just once, for a final request for water (I'm sssooooo thirsty mamma/daddy!); threaten her that if she dares to even whisper anything else there will be dire consquences (after the 40th pleading of "I'm still hungry" "I'm thirsty" "I have to go to the bathroom" "I'm scared!")

9 -- 10:30 p.m. -- clean bottles used that day; defrost frozen breastmilk for tomorrow; fill bottles/pack in lunchbox (that will, no doubt, be forgotten at least once the following day); sterilize pump parts used that day; repack pump parts; lay out clothes for next day

Now, if I were smart I should go to bed at this point. But I'm not smart. Not smart at all. So usually around 10:30 I'll either hop on the computer, start going through my Tivo shows, watch some "live TV" or thumb through one of the 43 magazines I get each month. Of course, I'll then look at the clock what seems like minutes later to find that it's almost midnight. And, yes, the alarm clock is going to make its obnoxious presence known in 6 1/2 hours. So I crawl in to bed.

As if all of that weren't enough, poor Lily has a case of hand-foot-and-mouth disease (also known as coxsackievirus, which Noah thinks is hilarious). It's awful. It makes me sick to think of how much pain she's in right now. She's stopped eating most things (although I did convince her to eat a scoop of Ciao Bella vanilla gelato...YUM!), doesn't want to drink much, and seems to be on a sleeping strike. Poor kid, every time she nods off to sleep something will invariably bump up against her lip/cheek/mouth (even a feather would cause her agony at this point) , which wakes her up writhing in pain.

We all got a total of about 2 hours of sleep Wednesday night (except for Anna, who has been getting almost 12 hours each night). Noah, bless him, spared me last night. I'm not sure that he and Lily even managed to get 2 hours last night; I got a whopping 5. They're headed to the pediatrician's office this morning. I told him not to leave without a prescription in hand. If there's nothing they can give to Lily, at the very least I'd take an Rx for Ambien. For me. Hopefully it comes in a preschool variety as well.

You know you're wrecked when even the Starbucks barista raises an eye when you order a venti skinny hazelnut latte with TWO extra shots... Here's hoping for some nice shut eye this weekend.

Sweet and Sassy at Four Months

Amazingly, little Anna Lake is four months old today.  While her 4 month appointment at the pediatrician's isn't until the end of the month -- we got stuck in the back to school physical rush -- my guess is that she's probably right on par with where Lily was at 4 months...16 juicy pounds.  

She's fat.  She's happy.  She'll smile at anyone and laugh without abandon when tickled in just the right spot.  She's already rolling over; that happened a week ago after her first day in daycare.  She's now grabbing for things and, right on cue, has started putting things in to her mouth (things other than her fingers, which she came in to the world sucking on).

To mark this monthly milestone, we cracked open her sassy seat; a gift from my partner in crime at work, Amy.  Amy surprised me with this gift when I was a few months away from my due date.  Bless her childless heart.  She'd heard that some people have those "registry things" and decided to browse online in the event that I had one.  She had NO idea what a sassy seat was but loved the name and sent it to me.  To say that Anna loved it is an understatement.  She hasn't quite mastered the art of the bounce, but she's a prodigy when it comes to drooling on all the attached accessories!  Of course, she's got big sister extraordinaire right behind her, cheering her along.

No rest for the weary

I seem to be a glutton for punishment.  And there's definitely a pattern.  My last day of maternity leave with Lily, we found our house.  Yes, we'd been casually looking at real estate -- popping in to open houses when we happened to pass by --  for a few months.  We'd even called our agents to take us in to a few houses that seemed to have real potential.  

But on February 28th, my very last day of maternity leave, we discovered this house and, insanely, decided to make an offer.  Maybe it was the dusting of snow that made everything look so romantic.  Perhaps it was the ridiculous playground directly across the street from us.  Very likely it was my post partum hormones that were demanding we immediately relocate in to a better school district.  Because, of course, Lily would start Kindergarten in FIVE AND ONE HALF YEARS (clearly an emergency).  Whatever the reason, we decided to make a move. 

Amazingly (the real estate market was SO different back then) we got the house.  Noah took a week off to get our house ready to put on the market (remember, this was my first week back at work).  32 offers later, we sold our old house and made the move. 

Remember this?

You'd think after a stunt like that that I would actually learn a lesson.  As if there's not enough going on with the transition to day care and work.  As luck would have it, though, my return to work this time around has seemed to be an equally insane whirlwind...of the preschool variety. 

Last winter I did all the research for area preschools -- I think there's a cookie on my computer for a Google "best Washington DC area preschools" search -- and picked my top three choices to apply to.  All three were very different -- one play based, one Montessori, and one a combination of the two, Reggio Emilio.  I dutifully went on the tours.  I wrote thank you notes to the directors.  I seriously considered signing them all up for wine and flower of the month clubs.  I lost sleep at night worrying that we wouldn't get in anywhere....and then stressing about which one we'd chose if she got in to more than one.

In the end, the decision was made for us.  Because I'd been a little late to the game (who knew you had to apply for preschool more than a year in advance!), we were wait-listed at two of the three.  Fine.  Done.  Lily would attend Children's House Montessori (CHMS) in the fall.

Secretly I was a bit relieved.  Logistically it's the easiest for us; it's essentially on Noah's way to work.  She'd be given hot meals for lunch, provided by the same catering company that Huckleberry Cheesecake uses.  Some of the children from her class would likely end up at her elementary school in two years.  Lots of parents we spoke to raved about the school.

We signed the contract, sent in our deposit and first month's tuition, attended the parent orientation, and dutifully took Lily to their new student "playdates" over the summer.  I stocked up on "skorts" and bought a ton of biker shorts for Lily to wear under skirts and dresses (undies must be covered) and bought Lily her first pair of sneakers, the "strongly encouraged" pair of school shoes.  

All was set.

Until I got a phone call from the School for Friends (SfF) on, you guessed it, my last day of maternity leave.  

After playing phone tag with the director for a few days, Lily was offered a spot.  In one of the most amazing preschools in Washington, DC.  One that would all but guarantee her entrance, should we decide that we wanted it, to any of the city's top private schools.  One that would nurture her creativity, challenge her curiosity, and expose her to its incredible and wonderfully diversity student body (something that sadly she lacks right now).

And so I've been tearing my hair our ever since.  Depending on the time of day, if you called me this week I was either strongly leaning towards School for Friends or, five minutes later, strongly considering Children's House Montessori.  Sometimes I'd switch positions over the course of a telephone conversation.  I have countless lists scattered around the house and my office, detailing pros and cons for each of the two schools.

Lily had a wonderful buddy at Huckleberry Cheesecake, Emma, who has been at School for Friends for the past year.  Not only would Lily and Emma be in the same class again, but Emma's mother, in Bangladesh for work right now, caught wind of the situation and CALLED me.  And emailed me.  And forwarded to me all the daily newsletters, complete with photos, that she gets from Emma's teacher, Ms. Jackie.  Suffice it to say, they adore the school.  No pressure there...

Cowgirl Lily and Pumpkin Emma, Halloween 2005

In the end, after getting out a magnifying glass to read the fine print on our CHMS contract, the decision was made for us.  Yet again.  By signing the contract we are now on the hook for the entire year's tuition.  $16,620.  Neither my employer nor Noah's pays us well enough to take a $16k hit.

I think that I lost years off my life this week.  It was more stressful than dealing with putting a house on the market, at the height of the real estate insanity, and having probably thousands walk through my house and 32 people try to buy it (and that was no small potatoes).  As my father pointed out, this definitely won't be the last hard decision we'll be tested with during our tenure as parents.  But man-O-man, it was a doozey!  My brain was limping towards the finish line (as yours must be after reading this crazy long post).  All I can say is TGIF.  And, once again, I'm secretly relieved that that decision was, essentially, made for us.

Month 45

My Dearest Lily,

I started the tradition of writing letters when Anna hit the big oh-three (months), and far be it from me to do something for one and not for the other.  

Congratulations, my love, on finally reaching the ripe old age of three and three-quarters.  You've been telling people that you're 3 3/4 for the past 6 weeks.  Now it's finally true.  We're on the downward slope towards four.  And since our very wise Loly told me, when you were about 11 months old, that the terrible two's start at 1 and end at 4, I'm hoping that your upcoming birthday is a sign that great things are in store for us all!  

A quick recap, for the record.  At 15 months you started throwing fits on the floor, always glancing up to make sure your audience was still paying attention.  At 2 1/2 you started talking back, saying no frequently, and you learned the art of whining (oh my aching head!).  At 3 you started throwing fits at bedtime, and by 3 1/2 you were perfecting nuclear meltdowns, with some night terrors thrown in for good measure.  It breaks our hearts, sweet Lily, to see you struggle like that (although I've got to say that I secretly laughed when you told me that we were ruining your life -- oy vey!). I know that this is just a phase, but I hope it's one we cycle through quickly.

Of course, in-between meltdowns and mishaps is your stead-fast heart of gold.  I wish that I could bottle your energy, your kindness, your wit, your sense of curiosity and generosity.  I often find myself bragging about you, Lily, telling people how verbal you are, how intuitive you are, and how loving you are.  But words really cannot adequately describe the amazing little person you have become.  You are beautiful inside and out.  I think you're really quite remarkable, and I am the proudest mamma alive because you're mine.

You make me melt, Lily, when you tell me that if you didn't have parents you'd pick us to be yours.  You make me laugh when you fire off your many, many one liners -- current ones include "I'm not a big fan of the color orange..or bagels...or bedtime." and "Fire it down, Daddy!"  You make my heart ache when I see how much you love your sister.  You make me proud when I see how kind you are to people, no matter who they are or what their lot in life (your current favorite is Mr. Charles, one of the parking garage attendants in your building). Of course, you can also frustrate me to no end, but you've always been a person of extreme emotions ever since you were born.  While that may be frustrating at times now, I know it's that passion that will make you incredibly successful in life.  You asked me recently, Lily, when you will be famous.  Well, my dear, I don't know when or for what, but I have zero doubt that you will be famous in this lifetime!

So keep it up, Lily.  Know that you make your Daddy and me so proud; you make us want to be better people.  We love you Lily.

Love,

Mommy

PS -- You're in bed right now, complaining loudly about being there.  I just went in to check on you, telling you that I was sad about going back to work and that I just wanted to have "Girl's Days" every day.  Your response?  You said that it wasn't appropriate to stay home all the time and if you missed too much school you'd become "unsmart."  Uugh, Lily. You always know just what to say to make me laugh!

(an original song, by Lily, about exercising in "the shack")

I survived

Well, I did it.  

First, I survived this week, which started off with traffic tickets totalling $630 (no, that's not a typo), given by a power-hungry/it's people like her who give DC a bad reputation police officer.  The largest of the tickets -- $500 -- was for not having insurance.  OF COURSE I have insurance, but I just didn't have my card in the car.  The penalty for that -- $30.  Ok, I'll pay the fine for not producing the proof, but I'll never ever pay for non-insurance.  And now I'm on a rampage to try to get this officer fired.  She so totally deserves to be!

I also survived my first day back at work. I stopped crying by 10:30 and only had to peak at the photos on the blog twice today (of course, my desk has become a shrine to the girls -- I probably have 15 framed pictures on my credenza).  I actually managed to bill 5.5 hours of client work today.  And that was after I re-introduced myself to my work laptop.  It had forgotten who I was.  Literally.  My IT guys had to come, blow off the layer of dust, and reset it for me.

Lily, bless her heart, didn't throw a fit at drop off, although I know she was dying to.  Anna, my super baby, smiled her way through the day and was a total delight; the Blueberry room teachers are totally smitten already.

Thank you to everyone who called or emailed me yesterday and today.  I really, really appreciate all the well wishes and votes of confidence.  The sympathy is totally wonderful too. I promise to return the emails and phone calls in the next few days.  For now, though, this tired working mama is going to bed.